BAM! Fist bump BAM! Hashtag BAM! Today is weigh day, and after no loss last week, and a few (BIG) emotional and food struggles this week (including a pumpkin pie) the week ended up GREAT! I was down 6 pounds! I couldn’t believe it. This doesn’t happen for me. I’m shocked, surprised, happy, ecstatic, thankful. So I’m 5 weeks into this and I’m finally looking forward to meals I’ve prepared (ahead of time) at home rather than thinking about where dinner will be, I’m not busting out into cravings and drooling like Pavlov’s dogs every time I pass a restaurant. I know I’m still in the early stages, so I’m so cautiously thankful. But thanks to all of the tips and comments from you fellow bloggers, it’s better this time. I’m using Weight Watchers to help me with portion control, and I really like the fact that I can eat what I want, I just have to count it, and that I can earn more food by exercising. I’m using blogs for motivation and recipes and it’s really made a difference. I feel like a movie star at the podium on Grammy night- ‘Thank you, Thank you all.”
Although I’m still not crazy about exercise, I find myself working it in, parking farther away, taking stairs, and even playing Wii tennis when I have a minute. A hard thing for me is food planning, when I think about food I become ravenously hungry! I plan right before a meal, or look over recipes while I’m eating another meal. I’m making a soup (Thanks “Saynotobacon”), and prepping food ahead so that I have meals ready I can choose from and that helps with the temptation to go out to eat. (First I’m cheap, I hate to waste food, and secondly, it’s quicker- faster fist to mouth if I eat what I have). At the end of the day when I think about what I eat, I no longer (except at Thanksgiving), have that horrible feeling like – oh yeah, I ate that.
I liked reading about people exercising and doing half marathons- which I can’t even imagine right now. I’m walking only about 1.5 miles a day, but it’s so much more than I did before my body is very pleased, not to mention a bit sore depending on where I walk. I walk a lot at work, yet I’ve never worn a pedometer, I’ll have to try that.
I still don’t look any different, except I noticed a lot more facial wrinkles today in the mirror. I do seem to lose weight from the top down. Just my luck, can I just once start at my butt?? My clothes don’t really feel different, but they aren’t tight I guess, and that used to happen a lot. I really want to get into new scrubs! So many cute styles come in just one size smaller! I want to walk farther, I want to be more agile, not stiff like I am all the time. I want my feet to not hurt, and my back to not hurt. I would love a stomach that just jiggles with no flop. I would like to buy clothes off the rack, fit in regular booths and chairs without being uncomfortable, go to a restaurant (not that I’m dying to go to a restaurant) without getting put in the corner or like I’m feeling hidden. I miss amusement parks but I’m afraid I won’t fit in the roller coasters anymore. I want to go to a spa and have the robe close. Last time I was given a robe and told to change and wait in a waiting room, I couldn’t change because the robe met only at my waist. Opening full view above and below. I asked if they had any larger and the woman offered me two regular. No thanks, I still only have 2 arms even though I’m fat. I have a custom made suit for diving that won’t fit anymore, lot’s of clothes 1-2 sizes down, I want to ride my bike, but my belly get’s bumped with each pedal pump, embarrassing. I would love to surf or try but I can’t even imagine hopping up with my feet on the board, I have this stomach! And even yoga needs adjusting and I don’t feel like the poses are the same. I’d love to sit in a chair, and bring my leg up right in front of me, between my thigh and abdomen excesses- this just has not been possible since I can remember. I want to dress and not look frumpy. Baggy clothes on me look frumpy. I’m going to definitely dress better when I’m less large.
I haven’t interjected any humor lately in my posts, so I’ll add some fat humor today, hmm let me see. Ok, I have one. My daughter and I went horseback riding. Yes, I felt terribly sorry for the horse, but I really wanted to do this with my daughter because we were at a resort that offered it and I didn’t want to send her off on a ride with strangers, so baby, get the big horse, mama’s coming! We get back from Scuba Diving a bit late, I had to rush and put my stuff away, and run to the boat taxi to get to our little cottage, change, catch the boat taxi back to the horse where Rachel was waiting. I’m rushing, it’s hot, jeans are required. So, quick shower, start pulling on jeans in humid 90 degree weather freshly showered and still sweating. Pull, I’m late, pull, pull, pull, stuff, stuff. I’m in, run back to the boat taxi, still sweating, wait, wait, I’m late, I’m late, don’t leave with my 13 year old without me…, boat comes, people get on, chat and chat, I’m thinking “let’s go!” Boat leaves, we get to the mainland, I hop off and luckily my husband and son to happen to come by. “Come with me,” I beg, “meeting Rachel at horses” (out of breath), “may need help”. We arrive, most the riders have left but one young kid is waiting with a few horses. My daughter hops on, he hops on, I get a foot in the stirrup and hop, and hop, and pull, and the saddle starts to swing around the horses belly. “Help,” I ask, as son and hubby are snickering. I beg, “come on, help me here!” Son holds opposite stirrup, “hold tight, TIGHT!” I beg. “You, push my butt!” I yell at hubby. I pull and hop, hubby pushes, son struggles with saddle. This took a few moments, and a few expletives. I made it. Once I’m seated, the horse took a big step sideways to increase his stability. Everyone, including me laughed. It was really funny, and a bit sad. My last horseback ride for a while.
- Doc appointment Oct. 4th- weight 288. Ordered to begin Weight Watchers immediately! (I’ve tried other things, this was a compromise)
- Family trip to Italy Oct 30-Nov 12. Walked and walked and walked. Lost 8 pounds!
- Started Weight Watchers Online Nov 13th. Using tracking, articles, on-line videos for exercise, learning portion control and healthy eating.
- Today- 5 weeks in, weight 272.3 (down 15.7).
- Labs done yesterday showed improvement, no longer Pre-diabetic!
- Active everyday.
- Cooking at home versus eating out almost everyday.
- Prepping food 1-2 times per week so I have pre-made meals available
- Healthy snacks available and ready to go.
- Keeping my desk a food free zone (mostly). I have had occasional healthy snacks here, but I’m going to try to do away with that.
- Spending less time near kitchen.
- I have not stopped for fast food one time since I started this plan. I think my healthy food isn’t leading to the cravings on my way home like before.
- I think everyday about what it will be like to be thin, what opportunities will it bring, what am I missing being fat. This helps motivate me.
- I read at least 3-4 blogs a day about weight loss, and exercise. This is very helpful and motivating.
Thank you all for sharing your stories and motivation, let’s keep each other going!