The Road To My Better Life is a Long and Winding One. It Won’t Be Easy!

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I think today, I feel like I could score at the Superbowl easier than I can get motivated and back on track again.  Sigh, I’ve made it over 90 days and with some success (almost 20 pounds), then, as so often happens, my motivation starts to wane.  It started about a week or so ago, wanting to eat out.  I did it once, no big deal.  Then I wanted to go out more, not thinking that this was exactly what got me into this mess.  Again and again my hubby and I went out and the weight started to stop falling off, then stop moving, then start going the wrong way.  I turned a blind eye, as I do when I want to avoid dealing with something.  That blind eye was there when I should have been exercising and prepping food for the week, and also when I went to the store and put candy in my cart.  I had this false sense that I can do some of these little behaviors without them catching up to me, but I know I cant and now, I’m having a really hard time getting back on track.  

Today, I’m out of town, staying with my daughter, Superbowl Sunday, and I have little control over my food.  I also want to be fun, and in my family, fun equates to food, preparing or going out.  I did bring walking shoes but other than that, I don’t have exercise plans here either.  And, it’s cold.  I’m not in Southern California anymore, I’m in the Pacific Northwest and it’s cold.  

I think one of the worst things is about this feeling that I’m failing is that I know what I need to do.  I know I could get up off this couch right now, and go walk in the cold.  I could ask my daughter to drive me to a store where I can buy some healthy food.  Will I?  I don’t know.  I feel kind of numb.  I can complain that life is so hard, but I really have it good.  It’s hard to me, but yet I know I have a roof over my head, food (too much) for my stomach and heat in the house.  I have a job, I have a loving family.  I have the brains to know that I need to change 53 years of bad habits to change my life.  

Ok, here I go, I’m going to get ready and take the dog for a walk.  I’m going to eat decent today and read blogs to gain some motivation.  I’m in the Sprint to May Challenge, I need to get going!  

About anonymousfatlady

Kind mannered Morbidly Obese Female, on a journey to better health. Over 150 pounds to lose. Help Wanted!
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4 Responses to The Road To My Better Life is a Long and Winding One. It Won’t Be Easy!

  1. C’mon, you can do this! Twenty pounds gone already. That’s a wonderful start. The cold and the party atmosphere are definitely difficult to deal with, but you know what to do. I’ve been facing down some demons lately too… laziness, bronchitis, overwork, stress. Phooey to all of that. Let’s do it together! February is a new month, so let’s make it a new start. I’m with you, girl!
    BB

  2. weight2lose2013 says:

    It’s one step at a time. I know it sounds so simple but it really is. I got myself in this shape by years of bad decisions, and I know that it’s going to take some work to reverse it. I take steps backwards on occasion, but also take the time to acknowledge the progress I’ve made. Take the positives from you’ve accomplished and think of them when you’re down. Then double down and move forward.

  3. weight2lose2013 says:

    I get those days when I’m exhausted. Then, no matter what I want to accomplish – diet or otherwise – become more difficult.

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